In Search of Personal Fulfillment
By Jiaqi Zhai (Lunarmony)
Special thanks to LynnKaye for the inspiration, without which the completion of this essay would be impossible.
It’s six o’clock in the morning. Awaken by the alarm clock, you got up, looked at your never-ending to-do list, and realized that another day had started. Then you went through the day by checking off items on the list one by one. Essays, projects, presentations, examinations… Eventually the day passed, old tasks were removed, new tasks were added… And just before you slept, you realized that another day – with you doing nothing but the routine jobs – had gone, and the beautiful dreams you once had were still little more than ordinary dreams. Wondering when you will finally be free of all those things, you drifted off to sleep.
Sounds familiar? This is a typical reflection of the day for us who spent nearly one-hundred percent of the time seeking to be recognized and accepted by the society. We accept assignments without question, usually not because we really love the assignments, but because we fear that not doing them will disappoint others. We associate extreme pain to not getting the jobs done on time, simply because we believe that the expectations and demands of others should, always, be put above our own needs, and if we don’t go through life just as other people did, we would never find joy and happiness.
As a result, the all-too-familiar days go by; and whenever we look up from our present jobs, we ‘re shocked by the sheer amount of routine work we’ve managed to complete, yet at the same time we are also saddened by the fact that the vision we had still seems to be so far beyond our reach. Eventually what was a ‘must’ for us becomes a ‘should’, day by day we keep finding and labeling new things that are 'laughable', 'unrealistic', 'impractical', 'impossible' … and the dreams we once had have gradually dissipated into the frustrations of daily life. Finally we just think that it is the best that we can get from life, simply because our peers are living lives very similar to ours. But we never stop to think what we’re really losing in the process.
When the drive to complete the daily routines, to meet the unreasonable expectations of other people, has stolen from us the emotions that define us as humans – the gratitude and joy that arises from appreciating what we have; the persistence and dedication for defending the cause which we believe; the spiritual love and commitment that comes from sharing and connecting with who we worship; and the passion and faith for becoming the person who we aspire to be – what happens then, when all of those things have become nothing more than a memory buried in shadow? What do we still have, then, when we’ve been robbed of our happiness, our caring for others, our sense of contribution, and even our meaning of life? What are we then if not a pre-programmed machine?
We’ve been trained so long not to make our own decisions. We’ve been trained to accept, unconditionally and without exception, whatever our parents, teachers, mentors, and the society tell us to do. That very culture conditioning has set off processional effects causing us to give up our true selves; and there’s nothing that could possibly be more devastating in the long term. As one winner of Goldman Environmental prize, Samuel LaBudde, so accurately put it:
"People are willing to dump hundreds of thousands of dollars a year into insurance policies, but are they willing to actively participate in their future? No, they want to pay somebody else to take care of it. That's what the whole insurance model is about. People feel like that's what they do when they donate to environmental groups: It's insurance. 'Give to Greenpeace and the World Wildlife Fund; let them take care of it.' But it's not taken care of. People think the environment is out there and that the environment is peripheral to human experience. It's not. It's our backyard, and its central; everything we do is ecology.”
It’s the same thing with our own destiny. We’re all too willing to let the society influence our choices, for surrendering to the circumstances seems much easier than fighting against the trends; and to be honest, none of us want another item added to our to-do list. But if we do not make our decisions consciously, everything that we’re doing would be worthless; it’s just like running west looking for a sun rise, something that has no chance of succeeding. And from the very day that we’re born, we are dying. There are only so few tomorrows in our lives; and if we keep wasting our days by living a life that’s not directed by ourselves, that’s solely judged by others, that’s filled with sadness, stress and frustration – how would we think when we look back five years from now, and found that nothing has really changed? How would we feel after living our lives the same way for ten, twenty, thirty, fifty years – when we grow old, and instead of feeling content because we’ve made a difference in the world, we still feel as unhappy and unfulfilled as we did in our teenage years, even after we had all the material awards we once desired?
The truth is that the things themselves can never make us fulfilled; it’s only what we’ve become in the process of pursuing our dreams that truly motivates and inspires us. We’re more than our physical selves. As many great poets, philosophers and thinkers had proclaimed, the most astonishing force that human beings process is the spiritual power – the very same power that enables us to act courageously in spite of the circumstances, to face the challenges boldly without fear and doubts, that inspires us to believe in something higher than ourselves, to find a purpose, a meaning, a sense of fulfillment in everything we do. And using the power requires really nothing but a decision backed up by persistence and faith, directed by a mind that recognizes no such thing as failure; a mind that goes beyond the common sense of the supporters of status quo, that’s dedicated to the betterment of self, others and the human race.
A committed decision is all it really takes to change everything.
Whatever experiences we’re having in our lives are the consequences of small decisions we make every day. And it is only when we begin, together, to take the responsibility to a personal level, to start making decisions and taking actions in a new way that benefits not only ourselves, but also the society we live in, that we can truly make a difference and bring about massive changes in the society’s values and our lives.
Perhaps making the decision to control your destiny is nowhere near as difficult as you might think; all it requires is to focus, and recall the natural part of yourself that you've kept hidden for so long, to take small and yet consistent actions every single day. And maybe getting the dream you desire and deserve requires nothing more than to courageously say ‘no’ to the routine tasks that are no longer giving you joy, to willingly give time and energy to pursue your own passions and dreams, and ultimately, to love everything you do from your heart.
Maybe it’s that simple.
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